My Top 5 Scary Things

This Halloween is going to be the scariest ever. I have compiled a list of the top 5 things that scare the shit out of me. Don’t judge me.

"I want a bottle...of human flesh."

Number 5: Novelty Zombie Babies

I typically love anything zombie-related. As someone who wants to live when the Zombie Apocalypse happens, I think it is important to know as much as I can. But these babies are where I draw the line. I first saw these a few years back at a Halloween store and hoped to God they wouldn’t catch on. Now, they are everywhere. I can hardly go into a Halloween store without freaking out over a display of these monstrosities. How am I supposed to pick out a slutty border patrol costume if I can’t even get past the first display without pissing my pants in fear?

My “Work Appropriate” Halloween Costume

"Does this costume make me look flat?"

My husband has always wanted me to dress as a “Slutty (insert any animal, vegetable or mineral here)” for Halloween.

I, on the other hand, prefer funny or ironic costumes.

Ode to 3 Awesome Gals

This post is dedicated to Julie, Roxy and Bam: three gals who have made my life happier in their own special ways.

I have known Julie for 12 years, having met her in high school.  She is not only an awesome person, but she is quite the entrepreneur. She launched her now highly successful Mutton Chops Pet Services, a combination pet services and pet photography business. By the way, she is so highly recommended, that her business was voted Reader Favorite by St. Louie Tails Magazine! For a long time I have wanted Julie to take pictures of my girls, Roxy and Bam. And a few months ago, I got my wish! Here’s how the session went.

The List

I have always had a list in the back of my mind of things I wanted to do before a certain age. First, I wanted to learn to dance before I graduated from high school. That didn’t happen. Then I made a goal to learn to play the guitar before I graduated from college. I’m pretty sure the guitar and step by step lesson books are still in my parents’ basement gathering dust.

My list is actually a “Cradle List” of things I want to accomplish before I have a kid. (I got the term “Cradle List” from How I Met Your Mother so I cannot take credit for the idea.) It has been said that if you write your goals down, you will be more likely to reach them. So here I am writing my list for all to see and hold me accountable. Here is the list, in no particular order. I plan to blog about each of them and possibly take photos to share.

(Probably not the streaking one.)

The Worst Thing I Ever Saw

This past Saturday I witnessed the worst thing I have ever seen. And I really feel like if I don’t blog about it, this memory will surely haunt my dreams. I need to get it out. I need to share this story as a public service to others out there who may one day witness a similar horror. And I offer this disclaimer. If you are easily disgusted or have a weak stomach, please do not read on. I would never, could never make something so horrible up, and I assure you this story is 100% true. If you wish to continue reading, know this:

I warned you.