I’m Not Your Baby

My recent post about what I felt was inappropriate workplace behavior got a bit of debate going. So, in honor of Halloween approaching, I thought I’d kick off October with another particularly terrifying workplace trend I’ve witnessed personally.

Hello. My name is Annie. You may address me by the following names and the following names only:

• Annie
• Ms. Haarmann
• ma’am

You’ll notice that list doesn’t include any of the following frightening terms:

• babe
• baby
• baby doll
• baby girl
• darling
• doll
• hon
• honey
• sugar
• sweetie

Do you see the subtle difference in the two lists? I’ll spell it out in case it isn’t obvious. One list is appropriate for a professional adult woman. The other list is appropriate for a schoolgirl. Clearly I’m not the only one who feels this way, judging from this article, and this one, and this one.

The last time you could call me “Baby”
(“Sally Jesse” was also acceptable.)

.

This, on the other hand, is a grown woman. Got it?

It’s 2012. Why is it so hard for adults to address each other as fellow adults, let alone business professionals? I find it condescending and offensive to be equated to a child. I also find terms of endearment to be disrespectful. And this isn’t just a problem coming from men. I don’t think terms of endearment are appropriate for women to direct at each other or to men either.

So, here’s where I stir up a little more debate. What do you think? Am I hypersensitive? Or did I hit the mark? Discuss!

9/11: A Few Thoughts

September 11, 2001 I was a high school senior sitting in a classroom taking my first trigonometry test of the year. Shortly after 8:00 a.m., our principal’s voice came through the intercom to tell us an airplane had crashed into the World Trade Center in New York. We paused a moment to take in the information. A plane crash. This has happened before. A plane crash in New York shouldn’t have any effect on us here in the Midwest. Then we put our heads back down to focus on our tests, annoyed at having lost precious time to complete the important equations before us. Only a few minutes later, we were interrupted again. This time the voice sounded  more grave. A second airplane had crashed. Initial indications were that it was done on purpose.

Catfights, Camaraderie and Crying

Everyone knows a woman who has said, “I only have male friends. I don’t get along with women because they’re all jealous of me.” Or, “I don’t like women because they’re all fake.”

The reality is, these women are usually the problem. If you can’t get along with members of the same gender, it’s not them. It’s you.

I hate the stereotype that women are catty. But in some ways, I can see where it comes from.

Nuggets, Anyone?

Did I really go an entire month without a single blog entry? Perhaps I’ve just been too busy kicking ass with my Cradle List to write about it.  But I’ll get to that in a minute. First, to recap the escapades of May.

May 3: I’m driving home from work minding my own business when –

Oh my God, what the crap is that smell? It’s in my mucous membranes! I can’t breathe. I might throw up on my steering wheel! Are those pouches of Dinty Moore being strewn across the highway? Oh no! I’m hitting one. It just splattered all over my undercarriage!

I’ve Got the Runs (Stuff I’ve Learned Being a Newbie Runner)

In my quest to complete 31 things on my Cradle List before I find myself knocked up, I have learned a lot and actually have done more than I originally planned. Like yesterday for example, I ran my first 5K ever.

A Shitty Gift That Keeps on Giving

It looks nice. But there's something shitty inside.

I suck at life.

Well, actually, to be more specific, I suck at quite a few things. But, Christmas is a time for me to be reminded of one of them.

I suck at giving gifts.

I’m The Favorite

You may not know this, but I’m the favorite.

The List

I have always had a list in the back of my mind of things I wanted to do before a certain age. First, I wanted to learn to dance before I graduated from high school. That didn’t happen. Then I made a goal to learn to play the guitar before I graduated from college. I’m pretty sure the guitar and step by step lesson books are still in my parents’ basement gathering dust.

My list is actually a “Cradle List” of things I want to accomplish before I have a kid. (I got the term “Cradle List” from How I Met Your Mother so I cannot take credit for the idea.) It has been said that if you write your goals down, you will be more likely to reach them. So here I am writing my list for all to see and hold me accountable. Here is the list, in no particular order. I plan to blog about each of them and possibly take photos to share.

(Probably not the streaking one.)

Hey Ladies, Get into this Van and Take off Your Shirt

creepy windowless van

Today at work a van much like this one came to the parking lot to do mammograms. I don’t know about any other women, but to me it just seems weird to get a mammogram in the parking lot.

I wonder if it drives around local neighborhoods ringing a bell and playing music like the ice cream truck. “Mammograms! Get’cher mammograms here!”

Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? The idea of a mammogram doesn’t sound appealing to me in general, but especially one in a van.

Not-So-Barely Legal

this is a photo someone took of me while I was surfing the interwebs.

You know that self deprecating friend who is always looking for a compliment by saying something bad about herself and asking for your opinion? Like the skinny brat who says, “Oh my God, I am so fat!” or the one with the perfect coif who complains, “I just hate my hair today.” I hate women who do that. So let me be clear, I am not that woman.