A Shitty Gift That Keeps on Giving

It looks nice. But there's something shitty inside.

I suck at life.

Well, actually, to be more specific, I suck at quite a few things. But, Christmas is a time for me to be reminded of one of them.

I suck at giving gifts.

There, I’ve said it out loud. The first step is admitting you have a problem, right? I think it is a disorder. There is something in my brain that makes me incapable of finding the right gift for my husband. Of course, I give him a few useful and practical stocking stuffers like socks, underwear, slippers and PJs. But each year I agonize over his “main” gift. And each year, he says he would have preferred a gift card. This year, I finally gave up. I gave him a gift card and a wad of cash to replace the money he spent on me.

According to my husband, I also suck at giving my niece and nephew gifts. But this one, you have to give me some leeway on. I mean, come on. They are 1 and 3. How the hell am I supposed to know what a 1 and 3-year-old will want? Plus, this is an added challenge because you not only have to please the child, but also their parents. Each birthday and Christmas I wander the aisles of Target and Wal-Mart trying to think like a 3-year-old whilst staying in a 27-year-old’s budget. Each time I bring home a treasure, I end up getting laughed at by my husband. He takes a different approach. He just spends as much money as possible and picks out something he himself would want.

Maybe I try too hard. Maybe I have no taste. Maybe I have a major malfunction. Maybe it’s all in my head and the pressure I put on myself  just sets me up for failure. Regardless of what causes me to fail so miserably at gift-giving, next year, in 2011, I resolve to stick to gift cards.


  1. I have one thing to say…make everyone do “Christmas Lists” and put on their refrigerators. Then you’ll get at least one thing that you like or wanted. I’ve been doing it for years. If I don’t like the parents…I usually get the kids something noisy, like drums or a Kazoo or something.

  2. I was just happy you weren’t guilted into handing me a $20 bill saying you forgot to put it in my card when you saw what I got you! HAHA! I LOVED my gift, I spent it on christmas stuff for next year all clearance priced now at Target!!! I got my christmas cards, and wrapping paper!!!

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