Drymouth and Other Problems

Well now I’ve done it.

Number six to be exact. For those who didn’t know, I am on a quest to get “The List” done before I find myself knocked up.

To check of the sixth item on my list, I performed in a stand-up comedy show this weekend.

It was scary. The racing heartbeat and sweaty palms were ok. But once the drymouth set in and I felt like I had a super absorbency tampon stuck to the roof of my mouth, I didn’t think I would get through it.

Most of the other comics were men, and the main topic of the evening was penis size. Honestly, every male comic who performed mentioned something about his wiener size. I kind of felt like I needed to open with something about how huge my vagina was, but somehow I knew even that wouldn’t make me fit in.

I really didn’t belong in the show, but fortunately for me I had a lot of audience support. My whole family came to see me, as well as about a dozen of my high school friends, the entire marketing department from my company and a handful of my husband’s friends. Much to my surprise, some fellow board members from IABC also showed up, leaving me worried about what I may have done to my professional career.

All in all, I thought the evening went well. That is until I saw my sister’s video of the whole debacle. I’d like to think the camera adds about 80 pounds. Or, as my sister explained, it was shot at an “unflattering” angle. Time to get to work on number five.

And speaking of which, today I started training for my first 5K. As someone who has absolutely no experience as a runner, this is a pretty big deal. I am signed up for the Go! St. Louis 5K in April. Today I started C25K training. I didn’t do as shittily as I expected, but I definitely have my work cut out for me.


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