Texts From My Husband: Your Stuff’s on the Lawn

Sorry.

Last week, I introduced a new category of blog posts: Texts From My Husband.

It was very well received.

I have been getting a lot of requests from my friends to share more texts. So here they are, random texts from the past week, including one from this morning on my way to work.

2/10/11: (at the dentist) Got nitrous for the first time. I was so relaxed I almost peed myself.

2/11/11: Remember when you killed my fish? That made me sad.*

2/11/11: Just watched season 1 of Sons of Anarchy again. It makes me want to buy a motorcycle and kill people.

2/12/11: No wonder Jared lost so much weight. Subway gave me terrible diarrhea.

2/15/11: Do you think that if Limp Bizkit and Little Richard collaborated they would call it Little Limp Dick?

2/16/11: I had a dream we were getting divorced. When I woke up I threw all of your stuff on the front lawn. Then I remembered it was just a dream. Sorry.

*Ok, yes. I killed his fish. It was his first pet in his new bachelor pad. But, first of all, that was about 6 years ago. I deserve some forgiveness by now. Secondly, it was an accident. I cleaned out the tank with a detergent and there must have still been some soap in the filter because when I turned it on and left it running, about five minutes later it was a bubble bath. Let’s just say fish were not meant to take bubble baths.

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