Texts From My Husband: Emergency Poop!

Driving while intexticated.

My favorite texts from my husband are the random thoughts, questions and FYIs he sends without prompting. It’s been a while since I posted any texts from my husband, so here are a few from December/January.

Just got a 100% on my airport safety class. Suck it, terrorists.

I’m going to eat ice cream cake for breakfast.

Don’t text and drive. It’s called “driving intexticated.”

I was going to take a shower, but I’m starting to reconsider.

Gotta run home. Emergency poop!

This might be a dumb question, but which came first – pirates or slavery?

I just saw a lady riding an unicycle for exercise. She was doing arm circles.

Some little tart just blew me a kiss.

Can you text with an English accent?


  1. I feel weird about leaving this comment, but I’m getting ready to give you a blog awardish thing on my blog. Don’t feel the need to pass it on. I know these things are like chain letters. I just wanted to kind of shout out to some of my favorite small, personal blogs. So…thanks for writing, because I enjoy it! And maybe some of my few followers will come visit you.

  2. Jennifer,

    Are you for reals? Because if so, I’d like to thank the academy, my mom… Er, I mean, I am most humbly flattered.


    Most of my comments are either discount Canadian boner pills, so the mere fact that you took a moment to leave me a comment is like an award to me!

    Thank you ever so much! You made my day.


    PS- Despite his being the writer of these texts, I refuse to share any credit with my husband.

    • Ha! Yes, for reals. I very much enjoy reading your blog, and now that my blog has been released from my SOPA protest thingy, you can see it in my most recent blog post. I don’t blame you for taking credit – you’re the one who saw the genius in the words. 🙂

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