Texts from My Husband: Anniversary Edition Redux

Happy Anniversary.

Today was my four-year anniversary. It was pretty bad-ass. I forgot about it and I told a friend she could stay at my house for a couple of days. Then Adam had to work late. So yeah, things got pretty romantic up in here.

My gift to him? A bag of Twizzlers Pull ‘n Peel, a bag of Reese’s Eggs and a Lowe’s gift card. His gift to me? Flowers and a big wad of cash to put toward resetting/sizing my wedding ring. He always kicks ass with gifts and outdoes me every year. (It’s kind of awesome.)

To celebrate our ever-enduring love, I’d like to relive some of my favorite texts from my husband from the past year.

Just got a 100% on my airport safety class. Suck it, terrorists.

I’m going to eat ice cream cake for breakfast.

I just saw a lady riding an unicycle for exercise. She was doing arm circles. 

(at the dentist) Got nitrous for the first time. I was so relaxed I almost peed myself.

I had a dream we were getting divorced. When I woke up I threw all of your stuff on the front lawn. Then I remembered it was just a dream. Sorry.

And here’s a few recent ones:

I have a headache so bad, I’m going to buy a chainsaw and cut my head off. Don’t worry. I’ll do it in the driveway so you’ll just have to hose it off.

You’re bringing me down. I might as well call you “Fox News.”

Forecast for Saturday is calling for meat. And lots of it.

Damn, diapers are expensive. I should have just bought them a 5-gallon bucket and cut some foot holes and attached suspenders.

Happy Anniversary to the man who makes me LOL all over myself.

PS – I really think you should get on Twitter.

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